Ep. 6: Rediscovering the Woman You Used to Be (Before Marriage and Motherhood)
The visible metaphor of all that moms and wives carry for their families — this was me on the way out the door to work every morning, not too many years ago. It STILL makes me tired just looking at it.
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“You are not much good to anybody as the shriveled-up, raisin form of your former self.”
There’s a quiet loss that happens for a lot of women after marriage and motherhood.
Not a dramatic loss — but a gradual one. The hobbies you used to love, the things that gave you energy, the pieces of your identity that had nothing to do with caring for everyone else slowly get pushed aside as life fills up with responsibilities.
And one day you realize you’ve been so busy keeping life running that you’re not entirely sure where you went in the process.
Today’s episode is about finding your way back.
So many women reach a point where they look up from the busyness of marriage and motherhood and realize they’ve lost touch with who they used to be — the hobbies, the energy, the parts of themselves that existed before the endless responsibilities took over. It’s not a dramatic loss. It’s a quiet, gradual one. And it can be surprisingly hard to find your way back.
In this episode, I share my own story of burning out during the early years of parenthood — juggling a full-time job, an unpaid internship, a toddler with health problems, and a husband working 15-hour days — and what it finally took for me to realize that soldiering through wasn’t the answer. Coming alive again was.
We’ll talk about:
Why high-achieving, devoted women so often lose themselves — and why it’s not a personal failing
How small, intentional acts (yes, even fresh tulips) can be the beginning of a bigger internal shift
The question that can help you start reclaiming yourself: “What lights me up?”
How to push back on the mental barriers that make self-reclamation feel selfish or impossible
If you’ve been running on empty and feel like a faded version of who you used to be, this episode is your permission slip to start asking different questions — and to believe that coming back to yourself is good for everyone around you, not just for you.
What You’ll Learn
Why the loss of self after marriage and motherhood is so common — and so easy to miss
How my own decade of burnout became a catalyst for coming alive again
Why beauty, joy, and pleasure aren’t luxuries — they’re a lifeline
How to identify what truly lights you up, even when life feels impossibly full
Practical journal prompts to reconnect with who you were before
How to respond to the internal voice that says joy is a privilege you don’t get to have right now
Journal Prompts from This Episode
What did I really used to love doing?
Who was I before marriage or motherhood? Are there things I miss about being that person?
What dreams and goals did I used to hold onto — and what happened to them?
What do I need to add to my plate, or remove from it, to make room for what energizes me?
What lights me up — and what would it take for more of that to happen?
Resources & Links
Related episode: Is It My Job to Make My Spouse Happy? How People-Pleasing Hurts Your Marriage
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If this episode resonated with you, I’d LOVE to hear what lights you up. Send me a DM on Instagram @vibrantmarriagepodcast — I read every one.
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